Have an All American Valentine’s Day

American Valentine’s Day origins go back to traditions and cultures almost a thousand years ago but it wasn’t until the holiday hit American shores it turned into a commercial holiday entwined in our overall culture and economy.

Valentine’s Day Begins in America

Colonial Americans celebrated Valentine’s Day but it would be unrecognizable as what consider an American Valentine’s Day today.

Lupercalia Origins

Some colonists came together in festivities based on (emphasis here on the ‘based on’-I haven’t found a lot of research to substantiate this celebration celebrated in the traditional way described here, but I have found ‘remnants and influences’) the Roman holiday Lupercalia (where men would chase women around in goat-skinned clothing, hoping to be able to catch a virgin. The women were lightly whipped with leaves as they were chased and the men laughed as loud as possible, to scare away the evil spirits associated with winter.) Incidentally, this raucous laughter also aided female fertility. It goes without saying that this was a tradition that the great majority didn’t really get on board with.

I wouldn’t say it was commonplace. I cannot really picture our founding fathers participating in this very specific ritual but there were some residual Lupercalia influence as well as the Catholic celebration of St. Valentine. Both influenced what would become our American Valentine’s Day.

Dutch Influence

In the late 1600’s/early 1700’s, a Dutch belief that on the morning of St. Valentine’s Day (as it was called then) the first man a woman set eyes on, or vice versa, would be that person’s valentine, and accompany her or him throughout that day. Since it was a random thing, the term “chance meeting” was coined (but you know young love… and you KNOW some of those chance meetings were orchestrated). There are records of a girl waking up and keeping her eyes closed until a family member told her to open them.

Any Excuse for a Party

Another custom that was popular was for young people to come together for a party on the 14th of February. (again Lupercalia origins) The get together began with the young women writing their names on strips of paper and placed in a basket. The young men would take turns choosing a strip from the basket. The two would be partners for the remainder of the party. It was also believed that the choice of mates for the St. Valentines Day party COULD be the ‘one’ for marriage and forever.

Bay Leaves and Eggs

Yet another tradition (or is it a spell?) of American Valentine’s Day involved Bay Leaves. A girl pinned five bay leaves to her pillow at night, one at each corner and one in the middle. If she dreamed of her sweetheart, they would be married within the year.

Then there was this one… A young lady wrote the names of young men of the village on paper and rolled the names in clay. The names were then dropped in a vessel of water and the first to rise to the top was her valentine. From: The Connoisseur, a series of essays published from 1754 -1756

And right up there with the goat skins and loud laughter… there is this custom of hard boiling an egg, taking out the yolk and filling it with salt, eating it shell and all and going to bed. I have several questions (and comments) about this one. Kids-don’t try this one at home.

More recognizable Valentine traditions

It is likely Americans began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s.

During the Colonial Period, there were no printed “valentines” as we know today. It wasn’t until the 1790’s that books of verses became popular. (One from 1800 pictured below) These were meant as guides and verses were meant to be copied on the hand made one of a kind Valentine people would make for their loved one.

THE HISTORY OF HALLOWEEN IN AMERICA

Poor Robin’s Almanack 1676

This annual publication established the tradition of ‘parody’ and offered satires and all around interesting takes on the obvious. Here’s a poem concerning Valentine’s Day circa 1676.

Mother of the Valentine

It wouldn’t be an American Valentine’s Day until we made a business of it.

In the 1840s, in Massachusetts, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Her father operated a large book and stationery store. Esther took was inspired by an English valentine she received.

The expectation was for about $200 in orders. But her brother procured $5000 in advance sales!!! WHAT?! With the help of friend (and the first famous assembly line) BAM her Valentine business was born. Her creations were one of a kind with pictures, real lace and scrap paper.

Advertising and word-of-mouth led to a $100,000 a year business. For all those that say it’s a Hallmark Holiday… it wasn’t Hallmark! It was Howland! And Esther became known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” a title all but forgotten today. HERE is a one act play for $.99 all about her.

READ ABOUT THE GODMOTHER OF THANKSGIVING

Vinegar Valentines

With every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. Leave it to our creative selves to create the anti-valentine. Something for everyone in an American Valentine’s Day. 🙂

Back then, they were called “mocking,” “insulting,” or “comic” valentines. They were especially popular during the mid-19th century, when both the US and the UK caught up in the Valentine’s Day mania. People sent those beautiful lace Victorian Valentines sure, but they also sent teasing and downright mean ones too.

It’s hard to say how many were sent teasing as opposed to with a sent with a mean spirit. There is at least one documented case where a woman sent a vinegar valentine to her husband and he reciprocated by ending her life. So it’s not super surprising this turned out to be a trend rather than a tradition.

Valentine’s Day in Modern America

Much like the 1800’s, Valentines in the 1900’s were meant for that special someone and they ranged from the beautiful to the cartoon. Vinegar Valentines fell out of favor. Over the next generations the ‘St.’ was dropped and ‘Valentine’s Day’ began morphing into a holiday to acknowledge love in general.

Still Holiday Dances were still all the rage for the first half of the century, as were hand written notes and cards. Chocolate and flowers became the norm as tokens of feeling.

Of course, we’re probably all familiar with the famed St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

Wand to know what Valentine’s Day looked like the year you were born? This is fun! CLICK HERE for a gallery of Valentine’s Day photos in the 1900’s. Thank you Redbook.

Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 145 million Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year.

Traditions these days span from proposals and marriages on February 14th to elementary classroom celebrations. It isn’t a holiday as it once was to find a mate but rather a celebration of Love in general and the many forms of it.

Ways to Celebrate American Valentine’s Day

Here’s some quick and easy ways to celebrate American Valentine’s Day in the time period of your choosing.

1700’s: Skip the goat skins but maybe host a Valentine dance party or hand draw a card with an original poem or a verse borrowed from the guide pictured above. Make a colonial craft! We have a great series…step by step videos for potpourri, sachets, and more! HERE

1800’s: Hold the vinegar Valentine…instead hand make something gorgeous with lace. Or buy and give out Victorian Valentines.

1900’s: Host a Valentine’s Party with games and eats and encourage handmade Valentine cards for the special someone. Or buy and give out vintage 1950’s Valentines.

Modern: What’s old is new again! Pick your fave tradition and bring it back into style! (Maybe not the egg with the yolk of salt) but write a poem, sing a song, have a throwback holiday.

Or get your creative on! There are so many unique and one of a kind ways to show love…as individual as the person and relationship itself. Go on an adventure! Gift something uniquely suited to your valentine. Or the ever popular Valentine Coupons!

Super Modern: Get your IG on! There are so many backdrops waiting to be used for that perfect IG post!

Final Thoughts

Valentine’s Day is a fascinating holiday with origins dating back centuries. It’s a morph and a blend of traditions and cultures and because it’s all about love, there are many ways to celebrate it, especially in the US where we like to celebrate everything we can. (I’m not mad).

We celebrate Valentine’s in our house as a family event. We do cards for each other and a small token (usually girl scout cookies are involved because it’s that time of year). They are always thoughtful and often hilarious because we think love should be fun. Josh and I view it as a day to bond with the kids and reaffirm our family love so it’s dinner, cards and gifts, and then we watch Charlie Brown Valentine’s. It’s our tradition. Oh, and we go out for coffee…always.

CELEBRATE AMERICA ALL YEAR LONG

Share the Love

We are always seeking to grow our community. Won’t you consider sharing this article on your social media channels? We have handy dandy buttons for that so it’s super easy.

Know someone that would love our content? Invite them personally be clicking on that little email icon. There’s always room for more in This Family.

Join This Family

Want to learn cool historical ways to celebrate our American Holidays? Super! Sign up and receive our newsletter AND you’ll get info on perks and contests too!